#unsung: The St Ives Sessions. 2nd-5th May 2014.

Musings on ‘The Fallow Period’.

 

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A month has passed since the launch of #unsung and the period immediately following an exhibition is a special one (read: tricky, exhausting, low, odd). By the time that the work goes on the wall I have gone art blind- I can feel disconnected from my outpourings as I am so close to them I can’t ‘see’ them anymore. I hang them on the walls, letting them and their interrelationships dictate where who will hang in relation to whom.

The hanging process is magical- a mystery to me. The week before installing the work, when there is just enough time to alter things- to maybe paint the painting of all paintings EVER- I see my outpourings in panic mode: utter drivel, self indulgent shite, lacking in any rigorous critical engagement. Then I disconnect, an experience which I can only imagine is akin to when a child is flying from the nest- you have to disconnect a little to stop the pain, to limit the emotional impact of inevitable loss.

Then the opening night- a bit of me is excited, but there is something out of body about the night. I am over it by then, my attention is almost onto the next thing already. It is done, and a cloud descends- a huge sense of anti climax, a kind of post natal depression. I have planned, created and birthed, fuelled by adrenaline and blind faith.

The space after a show fascinates me. It is a difficult one to inhabit. A ‘fertile void’, a fruitful darkness. All that you have lived for, that has sustained you, is out there. Done. And now you have to begin again. You have to find something to spark you off, to inspire you toward generating more work that you will believe in and will become your world (and therefore that, indirectly, of those around you!) for months and months.

And so I drift in this fallow period, believing in its necessity but often feeling useless, directionless and pointless. Yet after the launch of #unsung I didn’t feel so bereft: I was aware in a deep way that this was a launch- just the beginnings of a project that has ‘legs’- that has a depth of engagement for me. Already I can see what’s next..And it is quietly remarkable to feel this way. I have rested (collapsed), I have designated a week in which I have cleaned and cleared my home, I have walked with my thoughts and now my energies are restored enough to re-enter the fray. I am unavoidably altered by the creation of phase 1 of #unsung. Each exhibition that you have, or each experience of putting your work out there for public consumption, is an act of bravery and since bravery and foolishness go hand in hand, you must feel like a fool at one point.

But I am reclaiming the fool as a character that I aspire to be: forever new, ready to laugh at the absurdity, constantly leaping into the unknown, having faith, being spontaneous and embracing folly. So, I’m not brave, I’m a fool and I am going to keep doing foolish things.

I am in a book!

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I am very proud to be included in ‘St Ives: The Story of Porthmeor Studios’. Written by the wonderful Marion Whybrow, it is a thorough and intimate look at the history of the renowned studios and the relationship between the artists and the fishermen that work alongside each other.

My experience last year in Studio 9 was a peak moment in my personal and artistic life. I created work I was very proud of in one of the most extraordinarily beautiful and inspiring locations the UK has to offer. I built fantastic relationships with both the artists and the net makers who I shared the space with and will be returning there to both show my recent body of work and to make and collaborate further.

 

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#unsung: Part 1 @doomedgallery

#unsung had it’s first outing in Dalston last weekend, part of International Women’s Week, we celebrated a collection of extraordinary females that have all had so much to do with music as we know it today.

A few lucky London art lovers walked away with signed prints from the show. For more information and details of available pieces, email fayedobinson@me.com.

The project continues, keep up to date by following the blog!